Pre-courtship ---> Marriage

Last week, the topic for our CF meeting was BGR, and we invited Elder Shirley from Acts Church to share with us. She really knows how to joke and at the same time she made us think of situations that we never thought of. Learnt something new from her, which is 'pre-courtship'.

Pre-courtship is the stage when a guy and a girl are both attracted with each other, but they are unsure whether he/she is the person he/she wants to marry. So, they get into a 3 to 6 months of pre-courtship under their mentors guidance. So, what is this pre-courtship all about? Pre-courtship is when the 2 people spend most of their time together talking about their vision in life, passion for the ministry of God, faith levels, etc,.. in public and bright places. It is totally different with 'dating'. Pre-courtship makes you to understand yourself and the person you are attracted to more by having these serious topics discussed. It makes sure that you know both of you are on the same track before you move on together. Unlike dating, it started off with the serious part, if everything goes well then the 2 people are ready to be attached.

Never think of pre-courtship before, where you leave the romance part after the serious part. Normally, romance comes into the picture first then other things come in. When romance comes first, then sometimes you will find that he/she is not the one, and the relationship comes to an end. But if you do it the other way round, then the relationship is much more stable and guaranteed. It is hard for 2 people with different visions and thoughts to live together. There must be disagreements and quarrels.

So, it's important to find a partner that share the same vision as you as he/she will be your lifelong partner. He/she will be the one that will hold your hands tightly and walk through all the difficulties in life; he/she will be the one that will wipe away your tears and tell you "although the whole world don't understand you, I will always do"; he/she will be the one you share all your happiness with; he/she will be the one that will love you more than anything.

Well, had a precious lesson on BGR this week. It really makes me think more deeply and seriously about courtship.

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

- Genesis 2:18